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The Ballad of Johnny Handsome

by Les Bicyclettes de Belsize

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1.
Unsure 05:17
Unsure of what’s mine Where did it all go right Unsure of who’s line I’m counting the days and nights What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor Unsure when bells chime Give me a warning sign Unsure of who’s lying I can’t tell who’s wrong and who’s right What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor A child has grown and learned to cry It’s been hard The child in me didn’t learn to fly It’s so hard What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor
2.
Andy Kick off your sandals It’s scandalous That I’m making this rhyme Cowboys and indie girls And plastic indelible sounds Mod guys and dolly mixtures vinyl goes around and around Andy Kick off your sandals It’s scandalous That I’m making this rhyme Sometimes The Lemonheads’ ‘sunshine’ They were just friends of mine Andy, where is the crime? Northern Soul girls, rock and roll boys ‘How does it feel to be loved?’ Vinyl junkies, spiral scratches Saturday looks good Andy Kick off your sandals It’s scandalous That I’m making this rhyme Sometimes The Lemonheads’ ‘sunshine’ They were just friends of mine Andy, where is the crime?
3.
Impossible 03:13
Wishing wells, and carousels Won’t find my way back home Warning signs, morning blinds Heart as cold as stone You told me How to live my life How I tried, I couldn’t say goodbye It’s impossible It’s impossible Calling cards, colliding stars Leave me in the cold Do not signs, cross my mind Stories left untold You told me, How to live my life How I tried, I couldn’t say goodbye It’s impossible It’s impossible Something’s happening in my heart Something everyone should see My tee-shirt beats so hard it might rip apart It should be everyone’s to feel But that’s impossible It’s impossible It’s impossible It’s impossible
4.
1963 03:28
I took a Polaroid of you I only did because you asked me to Stuck in my scrapbook with glue You ripped it out when we were through Whisper it quietly This modern life is not for me Whisper it quietly I’d rather stay In nineteen sixty-three I want to be Sitting in the Beat Café Your coffee-coloured eyes will make me stay Right here I sent a telegram to you I only did because you wanted me to Written from my own point of view You tore it up when we were through Whisper it quietly This modern life is not for me Whisper it quietly I’d rather stay In nineteen sixty-three I want to be Sitting in the Beat Café Your coffee-coloured eyes will make me stay Right here Whisper it quietly (1963) Whisper it quietly (1963)
5.
A seaside town and your candyfloss fingers Rain falling down on my plastercine girl You scratched my back in the hard to reach places A window pressed face on the ‘Rainbow World’ I was just daydreaming, about a record that I heard The Trashcans play ‘To Sir With Love’ In my old text book I’d written, my diary, but in a word The very first kiss means nothing Until the memory fades, and favourite songs have gone Amusement alley, a slot machine kingdom Chemical spills and the highs and the lows You scratched my name in the slab of the pavement Grazing your knees in your jeans with the holes I was just daydreaming, about a record that I heard The Trashcans play ‘To Sir With Love’ In my old text book I’d written, my diary, but in a word The very first kiss means nothing Until the memory fades, and favourite songs have gone
6.
The bicycle thieves are coming into town The bicycle thieves are coming And they want you around They can’t hurt you Or desert you They just want your love They won’t fool you Push or pull you They just want to steal your heart And ride away Before you turn And realise They’ve been alone so long La di da di dah The bicycle thieves are riding into view The bicycle thieves are riding They’re looking out for you They can’t catch you Or distract you They just want your life They won’t cheer you, nothing to fear as They just want to steal your bike And ride away Before you turn And realise They’ve been alone so long La di da di dah
7.
It’s not happening at all You’re a butterfly trapped in a jar You’re not listening anymore Say no-one likes you when you speak your mind So take another drink and drown Your memories with ice and a cold heart It’s not hurting after all “I am who I am” you can leave it there You’re not waiting for a fall Say what you want and do not even care So take another shot and cry With tears of salt and ice and a cold heart So take another drink and drown Your memories with ice and a cold heart So take another shot and cry With tears of salt and ice and a cold heart
8.
One, two, three … one, two, three Waltz in the garden with you One, two, three … one, two, three Waltz in the garden with you Holding on, I’ll catch my breath Say what’s wrong, there’s not much left And yet Oh no Honesty, I’ll bite my lip, Suck and see, it’s bitter-sweet, And yet Oh no I can’t give you the life that you wanted I can’t give you the life that you need I can’t give you the life that you dream of I can only give love Is that not enough It’s all that I have Some might give and some might take, I took your hand, was my mistake, Regrets Oh no Losing games of ‘Hide and Seek’, I shut my mouth, admit defeat, Unless Oh no I can’t give you the life that you wanted I can’t give you the life that you need I can’t give you the life that you dream of I can only give love Is that not enough It’s all that I have
9.
Monsieur Hulot takes a holiday Saint Marc sur Mer Near the town of Saint Nazaire He’s waiting there At the Hotel de la Plage There’ll be fireworks and laughs Jacques Tati dances with the girl he loves He’s a pirate, clown and oh You know he can’t succeed Hulot all at sea Monsieur Hulot goes on holiday Down by the sea He’ll be waiting just for me Where the children have ice cream There’ll be fireworks and tears But he’ll be back again next year Jacques Tati dances with the girl he loves He’s a pirate, clown and oh You know he can’t succeed Hulot all at sea He won’t be losing any sleep He’ll me back again next week
10.
Each and every time I see you When you’re sleeping in my room Looking like a stranger Each and every time I call out With every breath apologise As I’m only dreaming Too close to call I’m falling The night it only comes and goes Your open arms have long since closed and yet Each and every time you tell lies The saddest tales and sympathy Finally escapes me Each and every time, wait and see Gone, forgotten place to be Imaginary heartache Too close for comforts calling A perfect world is not for hire Another backseat dream expires, and yet The night it only comes and goes Your open arms have long since closed, and yet Too close for comforts calling A perfect world is not for sale Another backseat dream escapes, and yet The night it only comes and goes Your open arms have long since closed, and yet
11.
I’m already gone To places I can’t see I’m already sworn To secrets I can’t keep There’s something on my mind There’s something on my mind I’m already down When I’ve not hit the top I’ll shoot for the ground I couldn’t get to stop There’s something on my mind There’s something on my mind Almost lately I think I’ll start again All those maybes Nine times out of ten
12.
Here comes Johnny Handsome No hair is out of place He will lead you where your dreams come true Here comes Johnny Handsome, In Chelsea boots of grey Charcoaled eyes with lenses virtual blue Don’t cry for Johnny Handsome He’ll try to make you see Don’t cry for Johnny the magician His smile is make-believe Watch out for Johnny Handsome He’ll take you far away He plays guitar in a Beatles tribute band Beware of Johnny Handsome His lies will promise much Fame and fortune not his only plan Don’t cry for Johnny Handsome He’ll try to make you see Don’t cry for Johnny the magician His smile is make-believe Here comes Johnny Handsome Swivel-hipped and proud He knows a man who knows a man who knows Where Brian Jones is hiding Smokes Strummer’s cigarettes And where he’s going to steal your second-hand clothes Don’t cry for Johnny Handsome He’ll try to make you see Don’t cry for Johnny the magician His smile is make-believe
13.
Unsure of what’s mine Where did it all go right Unsure of who’s line I’m counting the days and nights What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor Unsure when bells chime Give me a warning sign Unsure of who’s lying I can’t tell who’s wrong and who’s right What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor A child has grown and learned to cry It’s been hard The child in me didn’t learn to fly It’s so hard What are you thinking of Who do you take me for Making up for lost time Picking myself off the floor
14.
The bicycle thieves are coming into town The bicycle thieves are coming And they want you around They can’t hurt you Or desert you They just want your love They won’t fool you Push or pull you They just want to steal your heart And ride away Before you turn And realise They’ve been alone so long La di da di dah The bicycle thieves are riding into view The bicycle thieves are riding They’re looking out for you They can’t catch you Or distract you They just want your life They won’t cheer you, nothing to fear as They just want to steal your bike And ride away Before you turn And realise They’ve been alone so long La di da di dah

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released May 3, 2020

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Les Bicyclettes de Belsize London, UK

Imagine Grant McLennan fronting a band including Al Stewart, Ray Davies & members of Belle & Sebastian, and you will have a rough idea of the folky, indie, DIY, acoustic songs of Les Bicyclettes de Belsize. Melodic gems, arranged with acerbic, sometimes heartfelt observational & lyrical wit - "evokes a lost past" "tunes that mainline into your heart & soul" "wistful melancholy" some say! ... more

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